Tonight we have a repeat offender and a second guest spork by K. Kitty. Just a heads up, it's fairly long. To quote K. "It was hard to cut too much, because some of the jokes needed context...unfortunately, there was a lot of context. D="

Story Title: Hunting Dance
Culprit Author's Name: Chrissykouhai
Full Names (plus titles if any): Caroline Savannah "Carrie Angel" Francess
Full Species: Halfa!Sue
Hair Color (include adjectives): brown (just like every one of her OCs that have romantic ties to her favorite canon characters of different fandoms...)
Eye Color (include adjectives): brown (same as above...and she still has self-insert denial?)
Ghost Form (include adjectives): Silver hair (only thing revealed in this fic)
Unusual Markings/Colorations: See above
Special Possessions (if any): Everything that makes Danny special in the show and Sam’s entire romantic role as her own, along with a vapid version of Sam’s personality

Annoying Origin: According to a journal entry, Carrie started out as a blatant Mary Sue to replace Danny’s unworthy canon love interest and is now....the same thing...but with flaws!!1!
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Is Sam’s best friend and Danny’s crush
Annoying Special Abilities: The ability to be both “mean down to the bone” and have a “sweet”, “soft inside” at once
Other Annoying Traits: Sarcasm and....sarcasm. Seriously, it’s mentioned sixteen times in this fic.

( Eve was weak. Eve was weak. )

Another dime-a-dozen kid!fic, with two clone!brat!sues and a bonus!girlfriend!sue. Whoever coined the phrase "bad things come in three" wasn't kidding.

Story Title: The Clueless Gene
Culprit Author's Name: TheFifthCharmedOne

Full Names (plus titles if any): Daniel James Fenton Jr., Lilith Jade Fenton, and Alexandra "Alex" Francine Wilson
Full Species: Halfa!Stu and Halfa!Sue (also Sibling!Sues)
Hair Color (include adjectives): Black, black, and long brown
Eye Color (include adjectives): "[A]n unusual shade of green. Darker then Danny’s ghost form eyes, but not forest green"; presumably purple, like her Mom's — and her ghost sense; light blue
Ghost Form (include adjectives): The Fenton kids' aren't really mentioned, actually (most likely because there's barely any difference between theirs and Danny Sr.'s); N/A for Alex
Unusual Markings/Colorations: See above.
Special Possessions (if any): A complete lack of unique personalities.

Annoying Origin: Post-Phantom Planet Amity Park, all
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Danny Jr. and "Lils" come from the union of Danny Sr. and Sam, and Alex is a friend of theirs (and has a crush on Danny Jr. and vice-versa, though both Cannot Spit It Out)
Annoying Special Abilities: Danny has ice powers, and both he and Lilith have ghost senses, intangibility, and flight
Other Annoying Traits: Danny Jr. is a spitting image of his father's more careless-idiotic side, Lilith inherited her mother's callous bossiness, and Alex decrees Twilight to be "the best movie ever made"

( Do you prefer 'fashion victim' or 'ensembly challenged'? )

Five bucks says The Terrible Crossover Fanfiction Idea Generator had something to do with this. This suethor does have a speshul, sparkly OC — but she hasn't shown up just yet; bet you a c-note she's in Chapter Two.

Anyway...

Story Title: Lion King and Danny Phantom fanfic :D
Culprit Author's Name: Yumacub a.k.a. DannyPhangirl

Full Names (plus titles if any): Danny Fenton, Sam Manson, Tucker Foley
Full Species: Half-ghost; human; human
Hair Color (include adjectives): Black; black; black
Eye Color (include adjectives): Blue; amethyst; green
Ghost Form (include adjectives): Yes; N/A; N/A
Unusual Markings/Colorations: N/A; NA; N/A
Special Possessions (if any): Their canon personalities — or lack thereof.

Annoying Origin: Amity Park
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Are supposed to be them, but...
Annoying Special Abilities: Um...[insert witty remark here]?
Other Annoying Traits: Are apparently powerwalking enthusiasts.

( 3:10 to Yuma )

Darnit, suethor, now I'm going to be up all night playing pokemon. Again.

Story Title: Lifes Many Difficulties
Culprit Author's Name: komexx-

Full Names (plus titles if any): Diamond (Masters?)/Onyx Fenton
Full Species: "ONYX IS NOT A HALFA!" Fine, SomeKindofPowerful!Sue, then. Happy?
Hair Color (include adjectives): Amazingly, not mentioned.
Eye Color (include adjectives): Not mentioned, either.
Ghost Form (include adjectives): Dare I say, N/A?
Unusual Markings/Colorations: No clue.
Special Possessions (if any): Chapter 2 of this fanfic.

Annoying Origin: "A hospital in New York" and a VladxMaddie tryst
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Is Maddie's "unwanted" daughter
Annoying Special Abilities: Teleportation and "many other powers too"
Other Annoying Traits: Had a "cancer-like tumor", but "she got better".

( Onyx, go! Use Iron Tail! )

In addition to clones and girlfriends and rivals related to Vlad, the last thing Danny needs is more siblings. Especially poorly-written ones.

Speaking of poor writing, I found this paragraph from the suethor's profile to be hilarious —

"Anyway, I'll be posting mostly Danny Phantom stuff since it's like, the only thing I find interesting enough to write about and I don't have much time to watch TV any more. I'm new to the sight so bare with me if things are screwed up for a while. If something happens to be increadilby wrong with the stories (like they end up being a giant all of text or quotations are missing) just let me know and I'll fix it. I'm going to be an English Major for crying out loud! I proof read everything at least five times over before putting it on the net!! So don't correct me on my grammar or uses, unless it's like incredibly wrong, just let me know about story content and the like."

...wow. Just wow.

Story Title: Big Brother
Culprit Author's Name: Fayrandothneil

Full Names (plus titles if any): Tyler "Ty" (Fenton, presumably, though he's never referred to by his full name)
Full Species: Human
Hair Color (include adjectives): "Red like his mother and sister"
Eye Color (include adjectives): "Intense blue"
Ghost Form (include adjectives): N/A
Unusual Markings/Colorations: None
Special Possessions (if any): A stuffed bear named "Hoodie"

Annoying Origin: The same place Danny and Jazz came from, supposedly...
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Is Danny's younger brother.
Annoying Special Abilities: Can apparently do whatever the heck he wants, including "turn[ing] the bathroom into a swimming pool. Like he saw them do in those stupid cartoons.”
Other Annoying Traits: "[Isn't] completely potty trained yet"

( If you want a vision of the future, Winston, imagine a boot stamping on a human face forever. )

*HEADDESK*

Story Title: Whoa, dude!
Culprit Author's Name: Mischievia SamanthaFenton

Full Names (plus titles if any): Emma Fine/Emma Angel
Full Species: Halfa!Sue
Hair Color (include adjectives): "Long dark brown that was tied up in a messy ponytail with bangs covering her whole left eye"
Eye Color (include adjectives): "[D]ark purple, almost black"
Ghost Form (include adjectives): "[W]hite hair tied in a ponytail with her bangs covering her left eye, a black tank top that showed her stomach, black pants and white boots"
Unusual Markings/Colorations: (See previous.)
Special Possessions (if any): Ghost powers and a curfew

Annoying Origin: "Ittlesburg" (but really Wisconsin)
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Is...*drumroll*...Vlad's niece!
Annoying Special Abilities: Flight, purple ectoplasm, probably intangibility...*yawn*
Other Annoying Traits: Is very quickly crushed on by Danny and becomes close friends with Sam

( Better watch out for those man-eating jack rabbits )

Never has a story title been more accurate.

Also, hi. Sorry about the unannounced hiatus.

Story Title: Devastation
Culprit Author's Name: Jessica01

Full Names (plus titles if any): Sarah Jessica Fenton/Darlene Elizabeth Masters
Full Species: Halfa!Sue (apparently)
Hair Color (include adjectives): Curly brown
Eye Color (include adjectives): Not mentioned
Ghost Form (include adjectives): Not mentioned
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Nope.
Special Possessions (if any): Lots and lots of commercialized products.

Annoying Origin: An acknowledged affair between Maddie and Vlad
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Is Danny's younger sister...I think...
Annoying Special Abilities: Telepathy with other half-ghosts
Other Annoying Traits: Is a crybaby

( And the starling flew for days )

Today's spork was handcrafted entirely by mysterious guest sporker 'K. Kitty'. Thanks, K! *mails him/her a gift basket of aspirin*

Story Title: Strip Me Down
Culprit Author's Name: Chrissykouhai

Full Names (plus titles if any): Caroline Savannah "Carrie Angel" Francess
Full Species: Halfa!Sue
Hair Color (include adjectives): Long brown
Eye Color (include adjectives): “[P]iercing golden brown” that reflect her “bright pride and sarcasm”
Ghost Form (include adjectives): Not in this fic (so far that I’m willing to read)
Unusual Markings/Colorations: See previous.
Special Possessions (if any): An apparently easily forgettable name and a motorcycle

Annoying Origin: Starting to increasingly not want to know
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Is Danny's “used to be girlfriend”
Annoying Special Abilities: Can dance and attract men like flies
Other Annoying Traits: Has a “trademark smirk”

( Curiosity put the cat in rehab. )

And now, for your vomiting viewing pleasure, I present to you all...

( A Sue-vie Matinee )

Wow. There's wish-fulfilling self-insert fic, and then there's...this...

Story Title: The Shower Game
Culprit Author's Name: Chrissykouhai

Full Names (plus titles if any): Caroline Savannah "Carrie Angel" Francess
Full Species: Halfa!Sue
Hair Color (include adjectives): Long brown
Eye Color (include adjectives): Brown
Ghost Form (include adjectives): Madam Not Appearing in this Fic
Unusual Markings/Colorations: See previous.
Special Possessions (if any): Um...something she shouldn't?

Annoying Origin: Still have no idea
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Is Danny's "girl"
Annoying Special Abilities: Secretes fruit juice, apparently...
Other Annoying Traits: Has reservations about premarital sex — but changes her mind pretty quickly

( NOT SAFE FOR WORK *OR* HUMANITY... )

EDIT: Hermy left a review asking the author if she'd seen this spork. Here's what she had to say:

"[T]his was just somehting that I did in the 6th grade, and figured that since it was my very first fic - heck, my fist story PERIOD!- that I owed it to myself to post it. I promise, I don't write like this anymore, please don't judge me on this!
~Tib Dunncan"

...so give her a big hand, everyone. ^_^

If there's one thing worse than the spotlight-stealing Halfa!Sue, it's the spotlight-stealing, prattling-on Earth!Sue...

Story Title: Dani Phantom
Culprit Author's Name: Tib Dunncan

Full Names (plus titles if any): Dani Platto
Full Species: Halfa!Earth Sue
Hair Color (include adjectives): Not mentioned, amazingly
Eye Color (include adjectives): Not mentioned, amazingly
Ghost Form (include adjectives): Not mentioned in detail — but she does have "[Danny's symbol] in the upper center of her shirt."
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Not that I noticed
Special Possessions (if any): VHS tapes of the Danny Phantom TV show and an "ectologist" mother, Abigail, who has a — wait for it — ghost lab, complete with a ghost portal

Annoying Origin: The Big Apple
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Won't leave Danny alone, and worse yet, gets him in some serious trouble
Annoying Special Abilities: Can go through walls, disappear, and fly *YAWN*
Other Annoying Traits: Blabs on and on forever — then when Danny could use some advice, is completely silent and emotionless

( Stewie: My house is made of mediocrity! )

♫ Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me no more... ♫

Anyway, I've had my eye on this one for a while — but thanks again to Hermy for suggesting it.

Story Title: The Shadows Within
Culprit Author's Name: Gold Streak In A Silver Cloud

Full Names (plus titles if any): Anyla Lunazure
Full Species: Full Ghost Daughter!Sue, I think
Hair Color (include adjectives): Red, wavy, glossy
Eye Color (include adjectives): Blue
Ghost Form (include adjectives): "Silky, silver hair and black highlights", "fiery orange eyes", "a black, corset, tube top that revealed her stomach of abs", "a white mini skirt circled with triangular slits (sort of like a cheerleading skirt)", "boots [of] high-heel leather as well stopping halfway up to her knee", and black tights "starting from under boots and ending just above her knees"
Unusual Markings/Colorations: "Flawless" pale skin
Special Possessions (if any): Daddy issues

Annoying Origin: A "hidden nation"
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: The Fentons' neighbors' newly adopted daughter
Annoying Special Abilities: Can run 50 miles per hour and give Sam first-degree burns
Other Annoying Traits: Shows up in Danny's dreams

( *bobs head to the beat* )

Today's Sue was brought to you by HermyStar. Go read her fic.

Story Title: Yo Danny Phantom
Culprit Author's Name: darkravenxgreenbeastboy

Full Names (plus titles if any): "Super awesome author" Emilee a.k.a. Ivy and "best friend/cousin" Hayley a.k.a. Ham — I think.
Full Species: Annoying fangirls with "a message"

Annoying Origin: Arkansas
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Are Danny Phantom fans, and that's about it.
Annoying Special Abilities: Instantaneously appear on the same plane as the DP cast and demand that Danny and Sam kiss
Other Annoying Traits: Are fans of Taylor Lautner and Twilight

( Random ≠ Funny )

It's a good thing this author updated recently or I probably wouldn't have spied this year-old gem. The story reminded me of Firefury's Christmas in Wisconsin — which is even older, but still a great read as well.

This is a good fic — no, it's a awesome fic! And it just goes to show that OCs and even Mary Sues can be enjoyably well-written. =P

( Now read away! Read away! Read away all!! )

Did I mention I hate author's notes? They're like Bruce Willis in a bunny suit¹.

Story Title: The_Gothic_Ghost_Party
Culprit Author's Name: SweetsLoverXx

Full Names (plus titles if any): Vanessa/Veronica
Full Species: Halfa!Sue
Hair Color (include adjectives): Black, with pink, purple and blue highlights
Eye Color (include adjectives): Brown
Ghost Form (include adjectives): ...just...see below.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: (See below.)
Special Possessions (if any): A creepily tragic upbringing.

Annoying Origin: Moar hot ghost sex
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Is a new Casper High student.
Annoying Special Abilities: Not just ice powers, but dry ice powers, and blue rings when she transforms, too
Other Annoying Traits: Waxes on about her clothing.

( I'll be your connection/To the party line )

Not every OC is a Mary Sue — but unfortunately, a lot of them are. And just because your heroine has flaws doesn't automatically exempt her from being a Sue, either. Perfection and beauty are two of the most instantly recognizable Sue traits, but they're far from the only ones...

Story Title: Meet the Parents
Culprit Author's Name: ghostanimal

Full Names (plus titles if any): Melody 'Tucker Man Hurter' Hunter
Full Species: Full Ghost Daughter!Sue
Hair Color (include adjectives): Light green
Eye Color (include adjectives): Also light green
Ghost Form (include adjectives): Hair down to her shoulders, partly tied in a fiery ponytail, with a dark gray sleeveless shirt, matching dark gray fingerless gloves, black jean shorts, and black combat boots.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: (See above.)
Special Possessions (if any): Quite an attitude.

Annoying Origin: DO NOT WANT.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Is Skulker's daughter — though this is never actually explained.
Annoying Special Abilities: Can put Danny in 'crush mode' in under sixty seconds.
Other Annoying Traits: Wants to be “Famous!” ...oy.

( A pretty girl is like a... )

Ye gads, where are all these Sues coming from, for srs? Actually, this one comes from devART. Yes, she made an entire club for herself. *refrains from further comments*

Story Title: Those Crimson Eyes
Culprit Author's Name: savedpgal101

Full Names (plus titles if any): Ashley Donohue/Phantom
Full Species: Earth!Sue/Halfa!Sue
Hair Color (include adjectives): Dirty Blonde
Eye Color (include adjectives): Light Blue
Ghost Form (include adjectives): Snow-white hair with black streaks, green eyes, and a "jumpsuit exactally like Danny’s, but with a...‘P’ inside of and ‘A’ instead of the ‘D’." (See also Danny and Ashley Phantom.)
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Blond/Black highlights
Special Possessions (if any): Mix-and-match pajamas — and eventually, a necklace from Clockwork with an Easy Button.

Annoying Origin: "The Atlantic shore line"
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Is a fan of Danny's and becomes Vlad's hostage/experiment/ward/mercenary
Annoying Special Abilities: "Masters" invisibility and intangibility "after a day or so"
Other Annoying Traits: Is fourteen years old, a vegetarian, and an atheist

( Crimson Echoes )

Today's Sue comes courtesy of one friendly anon's sharp eyes. Thanks, anon!

Story Title: Half Girl, Half Ghost, All Heart
Culprit Author's Name: AncientGoddessOfDarkness

Full Names (plus titles if any): Elena ‘Elly’ Phillips/Cora
Full Species: Halfa!Sue
Hair Color (include adjectives): Blue-highlighted white
Eye Color (include adjectives): Light purple
Ghost Form (include adjectives): "[V]iolet eyes, white hair with light blue highlights, slightly tan, a light blue mini-skirt, a light blue shirt that bared my stomach and shoulders and was shaped like a raindrop, light blue glovettes, light blue high-heel boots, white leggings, and a white belt."
Unusual Markings/Colorations: (See above.)
Special Possessions (if any): A perfect 4.0 GPA and a "natural [motor]biking ability"

Annoying Origin: 'Halfa' Tab A and Human Slot B — wouldn't this technically make her a "Quarta"?
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Is another new Casper High student and the "new ghost kid" next door.
Annoying Special Abilities: Waterbending. No, srsly.
Other Annoying Traits: Has Tucker crushing on her — which is kind of refreshing.

( Howdy and a half! )

It's kind of ironic that today's suethor is so fixated on the fic's prologue, as it doesn't really connect that much with the rest of the story yet, and only serves to super-Sue-ify her main character. Her heroine's got a foil who's a big Bonus!Sue, too. Enjoy!

Story Title: Gemini
Culprit Author's Name: Moonlitdaze

Full Names (plus titles if any): Amanda "Mandy"/Orisa
Full Species: Halfa!Sue
Hair Color (include adjectives): Black/"Illumminite" silver
Eye Color (include adjectives): Dark Green/"Midnight" blue
Ghost Form (include adjectives): "[H]air pulled into a spiraling ponytail that ran to the elbow of her knee...dressed in a long flowing gown that ran all the way down and covered her feet it’s sleeves were no thicker than three fingers and rested just below the shoulders. Her hands were gloved and her left wrist bore a dimond braclet. However the most notable thing was a rusted amuelet with a long gold chain holding a triangular shape with a eye in the center."
Unusual Markings/Colorations: None — she's "in simply put words a beauty."
Special Possessions (if any): A "love of the stars"

Annoying Origin: Uh...07h 00m 00s, +20° 00′ 00″?
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Is a new Casper High student, and possibly Danny's latest infatuation
Annoying Special Abilities: Can duplicate and hold her own against Plasmius on her first try
Other Annoying Traits: In her human form, she's "clumsy, awkward, and middle-classed."

( Orisa — Or-isn't-a? )

How's that for a lame pun? Anyway, all I have to say about today's suefic is: holy walls of text, Batman!

Story Title: Dakota Arrives
Culprit Author's Name: DaniPhantom1222

Full Names (plus titles if any): Dakota (Phantom)
Full Species: Half and Half!Sue
Hair Color (include adjectives): Long black
Eye Color (include adjectives): Not mentioned, but probably blue
Ghost Form (include adjectives): Danielle's suit but with Danny's pattern
Unusual Markings/Colorations: None, I think
Special Possessions (if any): A Nintendo DS and God Mode Sue-ness

Annoying Origin: A stereotypical cardboard box on the street
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Is Danny and Danielle "FUSED TOGETHER!" (I wish I was kidding.)
Annoying Special Abilities: Can transform just like Danny and Danielle, and get herself instantly adopted by the Fentons
Other Annoying Traits: Is a chocoholic

( Three bricks shy of a load... )