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23 May 2012 @ 07:56 pm
We Have Returned!  
Soooooooooooooooooooo sorry 'bout the wait! But exams are pretty much over, summer's almost here, and I've beated Beated? Kingdom Hearts 2! So yah, I'm here, and I shall spork! This one comes from an anon, as I was too lazy to find one myself. Oh, and BTW, if you post as an anon, at least give me something to identify you with. I like to give credit where credit is due. Onward to the spork!

Story Title: Howl of the Halfa
Culprit Author's Name: Vladdywolfire

Full Names (plus titles if any): Athena Masters *facepalm*
Full Species: Halfa!Sue
Hair Color (include adjectives): "black in two big braids"
Eye Color (include adjectives): "dark brown"
Ghost Form (include adjectives): No description.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Not really.
Special Possessions (if any): Drawing tools.

Annoying Origin: Some fangirl's twisted fantasy. Not that I don't have my own...
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Is the daughter of Maddie's dead friend.
Annoying Special Abilities: Same as any sue...
Other Annoying Traits: Has an annoying transformation phrase. "Ghostly moon!"

A sample of the best worst most horrifying this fic has to offer:

Saturday in Amity Park Danny, comma had been hanging out with his, comma two best friends Sam and Tucker all day. He's home now he came in the living room his sister, comma mom, comma and dad are in the room; his, You get the gist. The comma placement in this fic makes my brain melt! Ugh. mom saw him come in the room. "Danny and Jazz, your dad and I have something very, important to tell you guys", she said to them. Actually, all the other conventions suck as well. This'll be fun. *pulls out flaming spork* Like it? I save it for the big ones...

Danny, sat down on the couch next to Jazz; she, *shakes fist* put her book down that she's reading; they, STILL wonder what their, ANNOYED mother wanted to them that's so important. "I got a phone called this morning that my good friend Luna Smith, BY have passed, COMMAS last night", she said to them; Maddie, looked like she was about to cry. Oh Wheatley, *Hijacked* I shall call this Wheatley Blue from here on forward! make it stop. It's so broken in my mind that I can't comment on everything else that's wrong...

"Luna's, got a daughter name Athena, she's thirteen years old; I promise her, that Jack, and I would take care of Athena". SERIOUSLY! Ask this chick to go up and talk to someone like this! NO ONE WOULD UNDERSTAND! "If anything should happen to her", she said to them; "so that's why you and dad were, carrying a couple of boxes upstairs earlier today", said Jazz to Maddie.

"Yes, she be staying in the bedroom down the, hall from Danny's, room", she said to her. That's not a bad idea at all! Who wouldn't give the two teenagers of the opposite gender rooms near each other! "She be here tomorrow afternoon, What time it is!? so I want the whole Fenton, family to, be nice to her", said Jack to them. Jack, you are a loveable goof, BUT THIS SUETHOR'S GRAMMAR MAKES ME WANT TO PUNCH YOU! The next day Danny, went to the Nasty Burger with his friends he, told them about the girl that's coming to live with his family. "It's sad to what happen to her maybe she's nice", said Sam, to Danny, "have any, idea what she may looked like?" Tucker asked Danny.

"I don't know what she looks like and till I meet her, and maybe she's nice", he said to them, they left the Nasty Burger and went to Danny's house. They came in the living room they notice a tall girl not wearing any makeup Because that is IMPORTANT!, sitting on, the couch next to Maddie.

Her eyes are dark brown, her hair is black in two big braids, she's wearing a green shirt, gray overalls, and purple and white sneakers. I'm sorry, but where's she from? It's very rare for people who don't need them to wear overalls. What is she, some hick? (My family's full of 'em, so no bitchin') Language, dear. Maddie, saw that everyone is in the room; "everyone this is Athena Masters, she's going be staying with us", said Maddie to them. Why Masters? WHY MASTERS! WHY IS IT ALWAYS MASTERS! As a Vlad fangirl, I object to his name being slapped on every sue that isn't a Fenton or Phantom! After what? EIGHT YEARS! You'd think the fandom would get a little better. But this crap... It makes me loose hope. In all fandoms. He's just that special :D "Athena, this is my: husband Jack, my daughter Jazz, my son Danny, and his friends Sam Manson, and Tucker Foley", she said to her. Oh, and you don't deserve the name Athena. I'm gonna call you Ebony from now on. Lawls, I see wat ya did thar :D

"It's very nice to meet everyone and thank you for letting me staying, *HEADDESK* here", she said to them; "I'll show you to your room", said Maddie to Athena. They got up from the couch; Athena, grab her bookbag up from, *HEADDESK* the floor she followed Mrs. Fenton, upstairs down the hall. And into the room where Athena's, things are at; "if you need anything don't bother to ask us", she said to her.

Maddie, left the room to let Athena, unpacked her things; wat? Danny, Sam, and Tucker, went upstairs to Danny's room. Wait a sec here. If her room is down the hall from Danny's, that means they wouldn't have to go upstairs. *sigh* Suethor can't ever get her own crap canon right... "There's something really odd about her I just don't know, what that is", he said to them; Danny, had got a really odd feeling. Maybe it was that sign above her head screaming SUUUEEEE!!!!!!!! Just a guess though. When Athena, walked by him a minute ago; "why does she have the same, last name as Vlad, what's he plotting this time?" To have sex with you, of course!

"And is Athena, helping him with it?" he asked Knowing how suefics go, probably., them "Danny, anybody can have the same last name, and I don't think she's working with Vlad". Why? She too good? Shut up you results of canon rape. "She probity *sigh* doesn't even know who he is", said Sam, to Danny, "maybe you're right about her", he said to her. "I can't believe it that she's a tomboy!" said, Tucker, to them "so, what if she is a tomboy she's a unique individual", said Sam to Tucker. First of all, how do you know she's a tomboy? The no make-up thing? Gimme' a break. Not being obsessed with applying make-up will never make you a tomboy. It makes you normal. Second of all, being a tomboy does not make you unique. You could very well just be following the tomboy stereotype, which Honey, is not unique. Get it right.

Athena, had finished unpacked her things, and putting them where, she wanted them at in the room. She was now sitting at the desk drawing a picture; she had gotten the same odd feeling from Danny, when she walked by him earlier. Athena, shares a secret with her mother and Mrs. Fenton, that she's, half ghost; Danny and Tucker, started talking about Paulina. It's apparent by now that Danny's over her. Trust a suethor not to know canon.

Aaaaaand, I'm done. I could only take so much of this. Many thanks to anon, despite the pain it brought me to read. Maybe my choice of song was too... angry. Oh, and BTW, is this shade of blue better? Much ^^

Ugh. I'm gonna go play Kingdom Hearts 2. Again. You're welcome for the spell check!

Current Location: Stalking Santacaton
Current Mood: chipperchipper
Current Music: One Winged Angel
(Anonymous) on May 24th, 2012 12:05 am (UTC)
Saaaannnta caton
I can read it now! :D Yay for lighter blue *cheers*
Now I should actually read it as apposed to commenting ;)
(Anonymous) on May 24th, 2012 12:25 am (UTC)
Aha, I suppose I should've told you...the anon was moi, JuneLuxray2. I thank you for sporking. You have impressed me.

Ah, yes...of course it's ALWAYS MASTERS. ALWAYS.

Thanks, man. I probably should've just said it was me. o3o
HermyStarphantomsues on May 24th, 2012 12:47 am (UTC)
Re: JuneLuxray
Thanks! I just like to know.

HermyStarphantomsues on May 24th, 2012 12:48 am (UTC)
I don't know why, but I think someone added to my post. Someone orange.
(Anonymous) on May 25th, 2012 09:09 pm (UTC)
Re: Hmmmm...
Oh gosh, she absolutely butchered the use of the comma. I was tearing my hair out reading this, your commentaries making this more bearable.

It's funny too, 'cause I was thinking 'Oh my gosh this is so My Immortal' even before you called her Ebony. xP

Hope to see more soon, and glad you're back!

(Anonymous) on May 28th, 2012 06:37 am (UTC)
It's just sad how many people do the "adopted by Vlad and she's given ghost powers" cliche. Hasn't that died out yet??

Anyway, a couple of friends and I tried to talk to this chick via dA, and she assumed we were bullying her (note, she TWENTY-SIX YEARS OLD) and she was behaving like a child. She then proceeded to make a new account called "bullyhater" and tried to insult some of us. A pathetic attempt, really. Someone of her age should be able to comprehend the differences between critique and bullying.
HermyStarphantomsues on May 30th, 2012 01:44 am (UTC)
Re: ouch
Wow. I barely have faith in the human race as it is. Thanks suethors. ~ HermyStar
(Anonymous) on May 30th, 2012 01:47 am (UTC)
Re: ouch
It's still May 29th, isn't it..?
Time Lord! *Le Gasp*